3 Ways To Break The Cycle Of Negative Self-Talk
/We all fall victim to negative self-talk, it’s a fact, however, this is something we can CHANGE… and some of it today! Keep reading :)
We all have met our unhelpful negative voices, we all know them well, and sometimes, we are painfully aware that those negative voices block us from realizing our fullest potential, and you probably already knew that. Here are some good advice on how to tackle this self-abuse and shift towards more positive behavior.
To successfully change that negative internal dialogue, you first must be aware of it. That means, stepping out of the automated mode, and being aware of your thoughts. Being aware is half the battle for transformation.
Here are two major problems associated with negative self-talk, their reach and how to change them:
The Problem: Negative self-talk is associated with elevated stress levels, depression and anxiety.
The Solution: Try and keep a journal and record your feelings, thoughts and emotions. Journaling is a proven way to release heavy emotions, gain clarity and take a step back by expressing yourself. Add a meditation and yoga practice, and you’ll noticed that it’s becoming easier to witness your thoughts, emotions and actions. You will be in a great position to realize how negatively your self-talk affects you, how it molds the decisions you make and how you take action in your life.
The Problem: Self-criticism tends to backfire - why because it’s a perception, and we know that perception is reality, so if we perceive ourselves as having failed, or not being good enough, this will become our reality, the story we tell ourselves, the story we believe. And since a belief is a thought that we think over and over again, we then tend to find ways and reasons to keep that story “true”, alive and accurate in our lives.
The Solution: To change the story we tell ourselves about ourselves, we first must change our thoughts, so being aware of them is paramount (back to solution #1).
Once you notice those false beliefs, you can start to shift them to a positive story. Change your perception and you’ll change your reality. Even if it means telling yourself in the mirror that you are good enough 100 times a day, until you believe it. But more than just repeating positive affirmations, the negative self-talk and criticism is installed in your subconscious, to change that, you must change the story in your subconscious. You can try listening to guided hypnosis sessions. I have tried a few on YouTube, and honestly…they work wonders. Click here to listen to my favorite one.
This may seem like a lot of work, but like anything that is worth it, it demands commitment and courage, and you have both within you, You owe it to yourself and you deserve it!
MORE WAYS TO BREAK FREE FROM NEGATIVE SELF-TALK + CRITICISM
When you hear the judgmental, critical voice, acknowledge it - take a deep breath and visualize it floating away towards the sky. Keep looking at it, until it disappears. Then replace it with a positive thought. Close your eyes, take a deep breath and visualize yourself receiving a NEW powerful positive thought from your heart, and watch it make its way from your heart to your mind.
This can help you to let go of your everyday self- criticism, such as "I didn’t exercise enough today, I suck, or I could have done this so much better"… all this negative self-talk is rooted in our childhood and years of school. Let’s be honest, we didn't wake up one morning decades ago thinking to ourself: "I suck, I could do better, I’m not good at this…”. We were told, and we believed it. We are unfortunately judged and valued by others from early on, it’s something we are taught. We were told this statements with mostly good intentions, however, positive encouragement was not has emphasized, if it it was at all.
This is the reason why positive affirmations are so powerful, they re-train our mind to develop a more optimistic, positive and self-loving conversation with ourselves and in this way with others. They replace negative thoughts with positive ones.
Work on your judgement - self-inflicted and towards others
Judgment is our downfall, it weakens us and takes us away from positive energies like Love, Abundance, Kindness, Gratitude + Appreciation. It creates a separation between us and others.
The secret lies in your emotions, notice how you feel when you’re judging someone else or yourself: it’s not pretty isn’t it. You feel drained, yucky and depleted.
The solution: Start by being aware when you are judging others, and how often you are judging. Then it becomes easier to spot it when you are doing it to yourself. Count how often you can refrain from judgement (in your mind and in conversations with others). Then, when you catch yourself being judgmental: FORGIVE YOURSELF! it’s easier said than done, but practice makes perfect - right! Forgive yourself for having had that thought and choose a new, positive one.
Forgiving yourself is being kind to yourself, so try and name the feelings you feel when you either hear the voice: is it shame, guilt? Both? Then ask yourself why are you feeling these negative emotions? Pinpointing where they come from, release them from the power they have over you. You then create a choice, to keep on the guilt, shame path, or change it and chose positive thoughts instead. If those feelings are overwhelming, sharing them with a trusted friend can help take away their intensity, and give you perspective. You can also journal about them and it will help give you more clarity about them.
You can even name your nagging voice: this way you can address it directly and giving it a funny name will defuse its power.
A powerful way to know if you are judging yourself harshly is asking yourself if you’d think that or say it to your friend or family member. Chances are you wouldn’t. Try and extend the same kindness, consideration, support and understanding to yourself.
Back to forgiving yourself - if you do not “succeed” right away at making these changes, keep in mind that this is life, and life is a work in progress. Remind yourself that you are doing the best you can and that you are trying.
If you'd like to work more deeply on your self-criticism, self-sabotage and limiting-beliefs - check out these retreats which will give you an opportunity to deeply immerse in yourself and figure out what is holding you back deep down, because deep down, you have everything you need to overcome it.
These retreat experiences are simply a channel to help you access your inner-power + infinite potential. Give yourself the gift of a new beginning by taking action toward the life you want from a more positive and self -appreciative standpoint.